I watched a very tiny ant try to drag away an oat today. I watched it struggle, as the oat was ten times it's length. I thought to myself, if the ant had some friends helping they would have been able to recover the oat with plenty to share between them.

 It seemed familiar to me. As if a metaphor for my life. I'm the ant and the oat is my dreams. Trying to drag them with me instead of abandoning them. Dragging them like a dead Pteranodon meant to fly. I need friends in my life that can believe in my dreams as much as i still barely do. As i am tired and wondering how much more i can tolerate. 

The ant finally gave up. 

Creepy bugs and bigfoots.

Jn had two giant plants growing on the side of her front yard, along the driveway. I wanted one for my house and asked how old it is and she carefully pushed aside the tall vertical leaves, revealing a hole in the middle, where the base of it was a jumbled nest of thick green roots rising above the dirt about 2 feet up. She cracked off a nub off the rim of the hole that was about the size of a fist and counted the rings and said "four". I thought to myself, dang it only took four years to get that big wow!

Then a fuzzy tentacle slowly raised out of the middle of the plant. I stared intensely. Then a giant bug slowly popped its head out. It looked like a horse shoe crab but more tiny legs and furry not slimy or wet. Had orange and yellow colors. I was horrified and didn't want a plant anymore if those things lived in them. It started petting Jn on her head, apparently they were cool with each other.

Then this plant is on the front of her car as were going somewhere. And her car is now a van. We drive to a valley full of tree orchards.
I meet with natives who are upset about the giant "rollercoaster the white people built" over their land as well as the station. It was really a global transportation system that went around the planet like a belt. (Because the earth needs a belt to hold its pants up right?:-)) I spoke with them and convinced them to let me bring a representative with me to meet the "white people" who were just students of a satellite of uw located on their land.

I went out to look for something. I was flying low. I saw a couple of bigfoots. They weren't scared of me and nor i of them but i was not looking for them. I thought, 'oh shit they're really REAL!' I found the transient satellite uw building that could fly. I need something in Jns locker but didn't know her code and she was elsewhere so i called her saying it's here, because the people inside wouldn't open it for me. It was bigger on the inside. More than three dimensional even though we can only perceive three. Takes skill to navigate in. Has dorms classrooms foodcourt typical stuff inside but outside only takes up about the size of a garage.

I lost my wallet and bra in Jns van.

The uw students negotiate with natives and agree to move the transit station elsewhere but keep the transit line in place, which is above the tree line anyways.

Full Moon

Midnight
The full moon shines its light
Through the space between the trees
It is staring at me
Distracting my sight
Poking me in the eye
I can see it passing by
I'm spinning so slowly
Black paper poked holes
Lovely lunar lamp
Wolf party disco ball
Snakeskin chandelier
I see you passing by
I see the passing of time

Robot boy

talking to a robot

alot of girls in the family

hanging out with Jn
and my phone was getting too skinny
So she showed me that you can pull it wider and I turned it into tablet thingie
and then I noticed my phone had a virus
It was saying
Your phone has a virus please download this app, or maybe you didn't say that
I saw the virus growing in my phone
Like a really cheap Windows Phone
So I held down the power button
Then my phone said "No don't turn me off wait'
and then it says, 'oh good I got access nevermind'
And I could not turn off my phone
someone was spying on me through my phone
Asian he looked Asian

I was a girl in a family of many girls
But there was one older boy
I was able to go between bodies
I decided to go into the boys head
The boy believed he was human but he was a robot
Only his dad knew the truth

My room was covered in bird seed
There were two cars parked outside improperly
Cops came to investigate to realize criminals were inside
The people that were helping us were actually the ones they were after
but they weren't actually helping us
They were in charge
I don't think the mother knew her son was a robot
she wondered why she had so many girls
The father was a roboticist
he was not around a lot always on the run from something
She didn't know it but she couldn't have boys. Too much plastic in her diet.  The chemicals destroyed the ability for males to develop in the womb. When I was in the boys body it seemed to be able to do all the things the others can do. The asian boys were in a gang/cult something. They were courting the girls as young as five in hopes to get into the family. They were smart. Mathematics. Robotics. Hackers.
I discovered how the boy was a robot when I was in his head and this giant triangle tank slowly turned it's turret to see behind it and I ducked behind this low wall. I thought it would be able to see me barely but it didn't. It locked on the person next to me who didn't hide and hit them. I got up and ran and it sent a sparkle that could sense my movement to follow me and I was holding a metal ice cream scooper and using it as a shield. All the other kids saw everything on their phones. Because that's what phone's do. See everything. They saw me deflecting the spark and got excited. Thinking they could each get their own to defend themselves. But the store thereafter had only plastic ones. They removed all the metal ones as a result of this event. But that was just a misdirection. The truth was that the metal ice cream scoop was doing nothing. The robot boy believed he was a meat puppet like the others. The sparkle simply didn't work on the boy because he was a robot. He didn't need that scoop. But everyone else did in order to keep the lie planted in their minds.

Armed robbery

I could be dead right now
I could be in a coma in a hospital
Dreaming of having gone back to work
While being raped in the hospital
I could wake up from my coma
With a baby in the belly
Adding insult to injury
All because i didn't die
From getting shot in the head
I could be making up my fortunate outcome
Of being unharmed and returning to work
Because reality is far too scary
Or else my imagination is derailing
And I'm just making all that shit up.

Every time someone pitys themselves,
a demon gets his horns.

Angry

If you can't handle negativity
Then get the fuck away from me
This fragile instability
This blackened creativity
It builds from deep inside of me
I let it out and let it be